“Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are you.” Yes, you. I’m referring to you, the Girl Boss reading this article. You’re awesome because “you’re the girl who loves deeply, who nurtures her inner Goddess and dances to her own beat. The girl who honours her beauty and body as a living, sacred temple.” Honey, you’re sweet and I think you deserve to be pampered this Valentine’s day.
Why celebrate Valentines day?
Many believe that this is a day that was ‘invented by greeting card companies’ and is about the commercialisation and shallow expression of romantic love. That valentine’s day is a capitalistic holiday that encourages mindless consumerism. You shouldn’t have to work at an unfulfilling job just so you can spend, spend and spend on Valentine’s day gift cards, heart shaped jewellery, fancy wrapped chocolates, teddy bears and other valentine’s day trinkets, in order to show your love and affection. Just imagine all the red and pink, heart shaped trash that’s going to pollute the ocean and land, long after your fleeting valentine’s day crush has passed.
This is a valid critique of our consumerist society. However, gift giving and words of affirmation (in the form of valentine’s day cards) are two of “The 5 Love Languages” written by counselling psychologist Gary Chapman. These are the 5 main modes through which humans express love. They are quality time, acts of service, gift giving, words of affirmation and physical touch.
What if you’re single?
Self-love is a buzz word and for good reason. We need to love ourselves more, not in a vain or arrogant way. But so, we can increase our happiness and life satisfaction. Loving yourself improves your confidence and elevates your vibration. It gives you that va-va voom, that x-factor that you can’t describe but makes a person stand out. Not only does it make you magnetic, self love allows you to adequately express the love you have for others. Nothing is more painful than loving someone and not being able to appropriately express it. It’s also painful for the person who loves you, but is unsure whether you feel the same way. Insecure love leads to heart break. Real love, deserves certainty. You need to know deep down that it’s not all in your head and that the feelings are indeed mutual. When you treat yourself with tenderness, you can truly and softly hold the heart of another. When you’re comfortable in your own skin you can give your beloved that passionate hug and lingering glance that says indubitably; I adore you.
Self-love makes you authentic. You can express who you really are and this integrity makes you love yourself even more. The feel-good vibes just go on, as you know, true love is infinite!
Humans are social creatures, we all crave intimacy and connection. Love, bliss, joy, playfulness and sexiness make life worth living! I believe life is meant to be fundamentally enjoyable. Your best life isn’t a day dream, it should be your reality. Of course, there is pain, and suffering but hopefully that leads to growth. Which leads to understanding and that increases your sense of freedom and therefore, happiness.
So how can you tangibly love yourself and/or your partner? There are the usual valentine’s day gifts and messages, those can be sweet. But you can try something different and have an at home spa day. I propose that this valentine’s day, you treat yourself with deep relaxation. You can practice this alone, or with your sweetheart.
Here are some DIY spa tips to try this Valentine’s Day
Create the Spa ambiance
- Hopefully you’ve read Zani’s cleaning article and were inspired to show some tender love and care to your household, specifically where you will be doing the relaxing like your bathroom, bedroom and lounge area. If not, I suggest you do some tidying up. Treat yourself as you would a guest, prepare the space. You can even put a house plant in the bathroom to really have that Spa tranquillity theme going.
- Practice some aromatherapy and burn incense or essential oils. Pleasurable scents improve your sense of well-being. Also, the sense of smell leaves a strong impression on your brain and you definitely want to make this a valentine’s day to remember.
- Make some refreshing lemon water or other vitamin infused water by using other fruits like strawberries or mint and basil. Give this drink some time to brew, leaving it overnight is ideal. You could also drink herbal tea.
- Or you could drink some wine, rose or champagne to give your Spa day a luxurious feel. You can also prepare some light snacks, like fruit such as grapes, berries and nuts. Fresh salads are a good option for food that leave you satisfied but keep you feeling light. You can be healthy, but what’s valentine’s day but an excuse to eat chocolate? So do indulge, even if it is just a little.
- Dim the lights. Light some candles, these can be scented. Be careful not to leave candles unattended and near flammable substances.
- Play some relaxing music, this can be meditation music or nature sounds. Anything that makes you mellow and stress free. I love Sade and recommend her smooth voice and sensual ballades if you want to keep to the romantic theme of valentine’s day
- Consider switching off your phone, or putting it on silent. Dedicate this time, to some me time. Or quality time spent with your beloved.
- Set out clean bathrobe, towel, slippers, socks or comfortable clothes like pyjamas to wear afterwards.
Okay now that you have set the scene; let’s get down to the business of self-care.
- If you have a bath you can do a body soak
- If you have a shower you can wash your hair, and put on a hair mask.
If you have both a shower and bath you can do, both!
For a relaxing bath, you can try Girl Boss’s brand-new hydrating bubble bath. It smells divine and leaves the skin ultra-soft. Nothing says luxury like a good quality bubble bath. Or, you could try a classic salt bath, use either Epsom, Sea or even Himalayan pink salt. A salt bath, detoxes the body and skin as well as help soothe aches and pains. Add essential oils to your bath to help heal the skin like tea tree, eucalyptus or lavender oil and they smell amazing! You could also try a bath bomb which has a combination of Epsom salts, bicarbonate of soda, fragrant essential oils and adds colour to your bath water. On a budget? Have no fear, you can try adding oatmeal to your bath, this makes your skin soft, soothes inflammation and helps treat eczema and psoriasis.
- If you’re using a shower, you can also try a Hair Mask. Girl boss products are excellent because they’re made of natural ingredients, not tested on animals and are proudly South African and black owned. The Hair Mask which is super moisturising, is recommended for relaxed hair and it contains, aloe vera, marula oil, castor oil, mango butter and vegetable glycerine. Your hair will love this, it’ll be shiny and healthy afterwards. For deep conditioning you apply the hair mask from roots to tips of clean damp hair. Don’t forget to give yourself a scalp massage to stimulate hair follicles and promote hair growth, it also adds a deeper layer of relaxation. Then you put a shower cap on and wrap your head with a towel to lock the moisture in and utilise the body’s heat to penetrate the moisture into your hair. Sit like this for 1 hour. If you have natural hair you can try the Girl Boss Deep Conditioner which has aloe vera, marula oil, castor oil, vegetable glycerine, mango butter and vitamin E oil.
- While waiting for your hair you can care for your feet by soaking and then scrubbing them with a pumice stone. This isn’t glamourous but the results are so satisfying. And/or do a facial mask. I know the Korean sheet-masks are trendy but you can do a good old-fashioned clay mask with turmeric and rose water if you have acne prone skin. For dry skin, you can try a mashed banana, honey and oatmeal mask. Whilst you’re at it, put sliced cucumber over your eyes to decrease puffiness and relax whilst you wait for the facial and hair masks to do their magic.
- After washing out the deep conditioner from your hair, if you’re using a shower, a body scrub is ideal. Now I prefer exfoliation gloves over body scrubs made of sugar, olive oil etc I think they’re messy and expensive for no reason. I know many people simply use an old orange sack to remove dead skin. Be careful not to press hard when exfoliating, just lather up with soap and move the hands in a circular motion.
- After your bath or shower, you can apply the Girl Boss body cream, there is one for normal skin and one for dry skin. The normal skin body butter contains mango butter which is an emollient, it soothes the skin and also reduces the appearance of scars. Marula oil, which is Africa’s ancient beauty secret, helps keep skin firm and reduce the appearance of cellulite. And, Aloe vera leaves the skin radiant. The Body butter for dry skin has all of this goodness but contains moisturising royalty, shea butter. When applying, be sure to give yourself or your partner a full body massage for even further relaxation (don’t forget to moisturise the feet).
After you are clean, soft and smelling heavenly. You can put on your robe or pjs and slippers or socks; and write out some affirmations. For example, I am powerful, I am caring, I am grateful for all the blessings I have, I am simultaneously a masterpiece and a work in progress. These make you feel good and programme your mind to start believing the truth of your awesomeness. Remember words of affirmation, is one of “The 5 Love Languages”, so affirm yourself. Or, you can read a book if that helps you relax. Or else, you can watch a romantic movie whilst you paint your nails. Rub a natural oil into your nails beforehand (to keep them strong), and don’t forget to file your nails, this keeps them nicely shaped and stops them from chipping.
- If you do have a romantic partner you can cuddle them, and whisper all the reasons you think they are epic.
Valentine’s day is about love. And I hope you feel nourished this valentine’s day. Whether you’re alone or with someone special, you can keep the spirit of Love alive.